Twas September The First at Quarter to Three
by slightlyevilpixi
Summary: The Malfoys are plotting again, but Hermione doesn't appreciate being woken up so early in the morning. Warning- it rhymes, and I was inspired by 'Twas the night before christmas'


Twas September the first,

And all through the land,

Not witch or wirard stirred

In all England,

From Brighton to Burnsley

All were asleep

Even the Dursleys

Gave not one peep.

But on Burton Road at a quarter to three

Boomed a cackling laugh that came eerily

Accompanied with lightening that cut through the night,

Giving local children a terrible fright!

A rustle in a bush-Now who could it be?

Emerging from a shrub came Malfoys- one, two, three!

Lucius laughed rather evilly

And rubbed his hands with a 'He he he'

Narcissa was unimpressed with the dramatics he used

She'd told him not to but he simply refused-

'But scaring the muggles is just what I do!'

'Oh no you don't- not when its forty past two!

We may be evil, but that's just plain rude

It's just not done- we don't want to intrude!'

'Can you two focus and stick to the plan?'

Cut in Draco- a rather gorgeous young man

So they walked down the road in the first light of day

And crept up a path and broke through a doorway.

They crept up the stairs and stopped on the landing

Outside a bedroom they were quietly standing

They nodded and paused then knocked down the door,

Seeing the inhabitants Draco loudly swore.

'Who are you? We wanted Granger!'

A couple in bed looked confused at the stranger.

'I thought you said she lived at number four?'

'This is number two- she lives next door!'

Stuttered the man, lying confused in the bed

He must be imaging this- had he hit his head?

Draco looked murderously at poor Mr Jones

And his black mood was reflected in his nasty tones,

'Now look here you muggles, forget about this

And wake up tomorrow as if nothing's amiss!

We can't have scum ruining our party

So I guess all I can say is: Obliviate!'

And just like that, with one flash of light

The muggles slept peacefully all through the night

And if they thought later all was not as it seemed

They put it all down as something they dreamed.

But back to the story where we left off,

Lucius gave an embarrassed cough

'well that was an unexpected interlude,

But sleeping muggles is something I _don't_ want to have viewed

And so back to business- our evil scheme

To make that awful girl scream and scream'

So with cackles of mirth, and cries of glee

They apparated next door on the count of three

And burst into a room where there was a sleeping Granger

Who slept no longer after she sensed danger

She woke with a start and sat up with a huff

And snarled 'DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT TOUCHING MY STUFF!'

Lucius quickly put her things down

Feeling quite scared of that little girl's frown

'We're here to abduct you' explain Narcissa helpfully

'But that's ridiculous at... A QUARTER TO THREE?

Abduction at this time? That is so rude!

You need to rethink your whole attitude!

You didn't even think to ask if I was free!'

She stared them all down most angrily

'And you burst down the door- I'll have to get that repaired!'

She said with a growl as she glared and she glared.

The Malfoys seemed rather taken aback

'You don't have a choice- you're under attack!'

Draco sneered, but his mum disagreed

'She's right, stopping her sleeping is terrible deed!

Why did you two not listen to me?

When I _said _abduction was rude_ at a quarter to three!'_

'Fine! No abducting!' Lucius conceded

Looking disappointed his evil was impeded

'But we can still do evil things like make a mess of this place!'

Hermione gave him a glare, and said 'you're a _disgrace!_

Have you not taken a look at the time?

It's three o'clock!'; the clock gave a chime

'Summon your master!' Hermione demanded

'So I can tell him you should be reprimanded!

But in the mean time make me some tea-

Getting up now has made me _so_ terribly angry!'

Five minutes later, the doorbell rang

'Who is it?' Hermione sweetly sang

'It's the dark lord- we spoke on the phone?'

'Of course, come on in' said the girl, making all Malfoys groan-

He really didn't look at all happy with them

(He hated waking up before eleven a.m.)

'So you said my staff had been impolite?'

She nodded, 'they intruded in middle of the night

And burst into my home without even knocking!'

Voldemort was appalled 'That behaviour is shocking!

I don't know what on earth they were thinking-

(But I suspect Lucius- he has troubles with drinking)

On behalf of my deatheaters, I give sincere apologies

This goes against all of my ideologies!

Whilst they were aware that I _do_ want you dead

That is no excuse to wake you in bed

If we can't wage a war without being civil

We're no better than muggles and all of their drivel

So follow me Malfoys, leave her in peace

Your quality of service has got to increase!

We are evil, mean, sly, and underhanded

But being rude is completely substandard!'

And with that, You-Know-Who disappeared before their eyes

And left the Malfoys to apologize

'Well, we're sorry' said Lucius sounding half hearted,

But decided that would do, and quickly departed

Narcissa sounded more genuine than Lucius

But Draco had never apologised before, and so was useless

So he settled for a 'I guess that was uncool,

I'll see you around next week for school?'

'Of course' said Hermione 'I'll see you later'

And even though she thought from then on he would hate her

She saw him next week on the Hogwarts express

And though she never meant to impress

He asked her if she would help him with his next evil plan

And she blushed and accepted the invite from the gorgeous young man

They had a great time and when he asked her 'will you go out with me?'

She smirked and said 'pick me up at a quarter to three'


End file.
